" Feelinq 'sz toward 'sz *HER. !* "

I wish on star 'sz for her to understand that missin her is the most potent part of my life now. I understand life is life, but life 'sz a b***h and i often look up her dress, so perverted i might be, but this keep'sz me from losin all sanity. I pray to God just to give her a taste of how much love im willing to give back to her if my heart wasnt as fragile as it was, my emotion 'sz become agile and i cried...got back up, and removed the sorrow'sz temporarily to move on one more step daily. I think so damn much, yo, in seclusion in my room where im able to let my thouqht 'sz linqer free while i listen to So Far Gone, wishin every song Drake sung was replaced with her emotion 'sz, this s***t sting 'sz me. It 'sz hard going on Facebook and still seeing her page and status update'sz, knowing it wasnt so lonq aqo dhat i was dha topic of her conversation that went something like "Aaron.....Happiness", that 'sz all i heard and all she wanted to know. I hate talking to people about it, when i do it only, create 'sz an abundance of emotion in which my heart became brittle aqain..naw..not brittle, just a lil chipped, this is s***t i will get over, but i just hate dha waitinq process. I feel like a patient anticipatinq AIDS result 'sz in a crowded room full of disease infected peer'sz, yhue jus wanna know dha truth before your hurt and yhue just wanna know dha future before yhue qet past dha past. Man, my brain hurt 'sz from reminiscin on nostalqiac s***t, everytime i see her picture, my upper body qrow'sz numb and hella cold, like i cant feel my heart beat no more, like a qlacier was just set upon me and now i cant imaqine life without her, what im tryna say is this....we're not toqether now, understandable, but yhue cant qo from havinq dha feelinq' sz yhue have for a niqqa one day to f***k yhue dha next day, id wasnt yhuer fault we broke uhp, even dhoe my niqqa tried her hardest to make me realize id was boqus how id happend and i just let id pass by without word 'sz beinq exchanqed or thouqht 'sz beinq spoken. As im writin this now, im movin on in attempt to find someone new and/or better, but id 'sz hurtful in dha same sense to pretend we never were toqether for those day 'sz and didnt promise each other forever. If yhue told me dha truth, God will be leniant toward 'sz us as a whole entity, if yhue lie, s***t,. it only propel 'sz me to be dha best in dha future and dhat me beinq special is actually REAL. I dont anticipate us cominq back toqether no time soon, if id 'sz meant to be, id will occur, until then, i will live my life like dha best person ihm meant to be, there 'sz more people in dha world dhat are willin to accept me and my love, or better yet, just accept a niqqa, i had to write this or i would break down knowin dhat dha facade of me beinq superhuman was a lie and i was hurt..aqain, but a scar dont stop nothin on a vikinq 'sz skin, i wish yhue dha best, God jus qive me strenqht to continue and hopefully in some tiny, tiny way she 'll qet dha qist of this in some way, i 'll be iiqht, dha qreatest suffer early on to become an icon, and iconic is what dha future look like for me, so here we qo, JERZ ! ! !