"Nun 'sz &+ AK-47'sz"

Time goes by, puffin dont lie, hoping that it get me by, got a nigga goin crazy. . . . ihd 'sz easier to eliminate a question instead of qettin dha answer, easy to smoke dha ciq 'sz, but difficult to cure dha cancer. Tonque kiss wihd dha bowel 'sz ohv death, tryna s***t on life, ihd 'sz unlike me to be constipated constantly from hype. So many broken infatuation ';sz, screamin fuhk dha world but fanatic 'sz ohv masturbation qrown uhp in starvation. iHear a man 'sz hunqer throuqh dha speaker 'sz in dha studio, everytime i write i paint picture 'sz ohv younq funeral 'sz, like. Ihm not weird, i just rather be left in solitary emotion 'sz, when ihm open to those who promote hopelessness, ihm promised nothin but commotion. I mean, sometime 'sz mhy feelinq 'sz aint felt until ihm revealed as a kid who intake 'sz pill 'sz to appear as ihf he 'sz not appealed. As i lay on top ohf mhy mattress &+ associate 'sz keep actin, i keep reactin to her action 'sz as ihf ihd 'sz normal or even averaqe, naw. Most day 'sz i wanna liqht a few ciqarette 'sz, chill, let dha nicotine rotate in between mhy throat and neck, 4reel. She constantly put 'sz uhp wihd mhy shenaniqan ';sz, mhy biqqest concern abt dha duo is dhat at a time she can 't handle him. Yo, lunatic 'sz are mhy friendship 'sz which replicate mhy benefit 'sz asz a psychotic imaqe in which ihm iqnorant or mhy intelliqence is so limited. People tell me to leave ihd.. . i tell ehm i can 't depart it, i qrown impartial to dha people who im used to bein a star wihd. Money, clothe 'sz &+ women was dha intiative, niqqa 'sz wanted dha incentive 'sz as i was pretendin to be pretentious. Mhy biq bro whippin in those jet black benz 'sz as he was half aware ohv mhy infertile sickness which had dha potential to fuhkin kill me. Understand, ihd used to seem ohff but mhy paranoia was stronq, ihm dha niqqa to keep triqqer 'sz around God. Tryna pray for patience as ihf ihm a doctor anticipatin a few client 'sz in dha clinic wihd diseases dhey cant cure yet. We can 't assist dha sick but dha benefit ohv even talkin to em is knowin dhat we robbin ehm ohv hope and dhey check 'sz. Mhy breath alone was mhy motivation to pop prescription 'sz on some ostentatious shid, lookin throuqh qlass maze 'sz wihd a blindfold, reminiscin. I dont even fuhkin know no more, ihm not confused, mhy past keep mhy mental enslaved ihf not abused or better yet so brusied dhat dha future had no clue. Ihm presently subdued to undo what i wont do, no mood to even pen pain but dha pain has pinned me to some interview 'sz. Question 'sz on a survey board, please forqive me, these question 'sz really offend me and considerably they 're all killin me. Ihm lookin over dha present problem 'sz i aint even solved yet, phone been on for year 'sz &&+ God aint even called yet. He blowin uhp dha horn, mhy niqqa tell me to pick uhp, AT&+T a b***h ihd 'sz a fourth ohv why i qive uhp. iKnow mhy wifey need me, i insure her assurance, ihd 'sz a recurrinq situation when i speak to her niqhtly. Used to be dha niqqa who was quiet like a violin in dha midst ohc dha riot, out ohv dha war, didn 't think she 'd like me. Cryin over thinq 'sz like if she was ever anqered,. dha beauty ohv what we create would be endanqered. Ihm feelin like a familiar stranqer in a world full of statistic 'sz &+ ihm tryna break dha mold but dha stone is all liquid. But man, i wanna try &+ keep qoin, keep movin, keep travelin throuqh foreiqn beauty &+ find dha uqly truth surely. Some say dha wronq thinq, but i will never knoe, but iJust want us happy, am i wronq. ?

So many headache 'sz. ! ! !

UGH,. ! ohkay, well my bad for leavin dha world behind for some day 'sz, ihd 'sz not my fault, ih 've been in writer 'sz block for the lonqest time now &+ ih 've been job huntinq ( which i scred biq qame on, Macy 'sz dept. store on deck,. WOW. ! $8.00 an hr. ! ] and ihm currently battling a mental disorder called 'Life In The Fast Lane' don 't know if you heard of dhat one yet, but ihd is indeed real. In dha current state of thinq 'sz, ihm enqaqed now to a chick ih 've been wihd 3 month 'sz ( don 't judqe me, ihd 'sz a lonq story ] yet she already prepared to qet mhy name printed on her outer thiqh so when she wear 'sz short 'sz &+ dha world ask what is dhat she can say cute thinq 'sz like
"dhat 'sz my baby"
,
"dhat 'sz my heart"

or her new favorite one

"dhat 'sz my fiance'"


It 'sz something qroundbreakinq abt being able to penetrate the "wall" people often construct to help them document the evil of other 'sz and try to find inner peace, which totally almost NEVER happen 'sz because, you still must face the trial 'sz &+ tribulation 'sz of everyday life with PEOPLE in it, so id doesn 't work much, trust me, i tried it &+ failed horrendously. It was a cold niqht on mhy porch when i was in the midst of making the biqqest decision in my life, i asked her to marry me on my porch, i told her not to say a word while i was trying to explain my feeling 'sz to her ( which is what i love to do with her cus i know she alway 'sz abt to cry, so love 'sz her. ! ] &+ i popped dha question. . . . *sigh* . . . she wanted to scream at 2 in dha mornin in preparation of living life with me now, irony beinq we wasn 't toqether durin dha middle of dha relationship, i chose to take a break to pursue another interest, but as i learned so many time 'sz in dha past, love is love &+ boundarie 'sz have no limitation 'sz, but we 'll surpass. For a while i grew content with everything &+ for those who have me as a friend on Facebook.


http://www.facebook.com/AVOSonnyCarson

id 'sz not Melissa ( dhat 'sz mhy white homie from CT who 'sz hella in2 Drake, while ihm not, i just know the lyric 'sz she put 'sz in her stat'sz a qud 56% of dha time ]

As im writing this now, im ready for life to commence,. Nazia ( wifey ] want 'sz to pursue NY in 3 year 'sz time &+ ihm afraid i wont be able to be near her when it all happen 'sz, am i ready. ? yea, ihm ready for anything, now i have to match uhp dha $200 Nazia qot stashed away dhat doesn 't fluctuate in any way for her trip dhere, i wanna qo and live life with here there ( even dhoe she say we qonna be there for 7-8 yr 'sz time &+ move to Miami on some Scarface in the fall type shid ] cus she want 'sz to qo to an art school there, same here, i jus qotta push for ihd &+ she 'sz mhy motivation, i just ask God to help us both reach where we wanna qo...toqether. (^_^)

Dear Lord, oh that you will bless us indeed &+ enlarge our territory, that you will keep your hand with us &+ keep us both from evil,. in your name &+ in Jesus nam i pray, Amen

- Sonny Sage Carson ( bKa Sage Sosa. ! ]

"The Show for Your Emotion" ( Solitary Soul ]

They say tomorrow 'sz not scheduled for today, can 't blame dhat philosophy
Life has transformed beauty until God 'sz famed atrocity
Mhy facial feature 'sz alone present 'sz a monstrosity
All dha weed bag 'sz &+ dha timeless prophecy
Word, i mean mhy famed passion for word 'sz
Has became heaven 'sz qate as i straqqle dha fence for verb 'sz
And dha immaculate concpetion is dha ultimate misconception
Ihd 'sz a mistake as i straqqle dha fence to find worth'
I mean, bred in Hell 'sz Kitchen with mhy head lodqed in dha oven
Standin above an anqel wihd her head draped in color 'sz
Had friend 'sz, a few of those relationship 'sz deteriorate
Dha window to dha soul has not been fond of many drape 'sz
In turn, what im sayin is yhue cant cateqorize me as fake
Cus ihf i chose to use blind 'sz, ihmma nosey neiqhbor to mhy face
Phone call 'sz floodin mhy earlobe 'sz, overflowin
Dha same conversation from dha same futile component 'sz
Obssesed wihd dha opressed and dha ideal opponent 'sz
Dha one 'sz i love most are mhy comp &+ never know ihd
People i once trusted i lusted for some certitude
Food for thouqht, i don 't often have appetite, i lost mood
Friend 'sz keep tellin me assert ya'self further
But mhy lifestyle in combination wihd God 'sz show 'sz no merqer
Re-emereqed on dha surface as i re-iterate on dha circus
So many freak 'sz dhat loved me i felt dha pain without purpose
Ex 'sz are dha foundation to mhy creation
People i lost love for adore mhy hatred
I used to ask why none of dhem had ever left
Ihm tryna press forward but dhey photocopy mhy step 'sz
Ihm tryna move on, but dhey follow mhy every breath
One ohf ehm ashtmatic &+ she alway 'sz stressed'
She want 'sz to me admit dhat i proqressed her crestfallen
But i been disconsolated back when her abortion was 1st forminq
I was 16 so a child to me was foreiqn
I was annoyed yet destroyed but yet no caution
Wasn 't mhy seed, qenetically i was absent
She feiqned she loved me, she was mhy favorite actress
Nominated her character for best actress in a screen role
She never attained dha victory, but ihd seemed so
Picked a bad time to be strateqic
I was appointed dha qrim reaper for heartbroken piece 'sz
As ihf i had to keep those joint 'sz in safekeepin
Weiqht of life on mhy shoulder 'sz as ihf i really need ihd
Keep opinion 'sz to a minimal, thinq 'sz i wanna say
Thinq 'sz i cant distribute, but act 'sz i wanna chanqe
Mhy habit 'sz abt smokin and wishin i could explain
But i lost who i loved because we sacrificed dha qrade
Ya mom ;sz finally decide 'sz dhat yhue was too younq for a dude
But yhue a yr behind me, so how is dhat seen true., ?
Thinq dhat really pierced mhy heart dha most dhen
Was dha fact we couldn 't continue on as qreat friend 'sz
Called me last week &+ i was hiqhly miscalculated
We talked for hour 'sz &+ neither one was aqqravarted
Traded speech for time and we were both discombobulated
But we learned to live &&+ let die but we were medically still tainted
We were in love dhen, two younq soul 'sz wihd no motive
We wanted to fill dha void 'sz with no commotion'
Introduced her to well rounded shown emotion
She was so quiet &+ she was never open
2 year relationship dhat she suffered dha pain from
I cant disspell her name, but yall dont know her
Sometime 'sz i wanna admit i had love for her
But sometime 'sz i wrestled did ihd exist

"Dear Diary" ( Solitary ]

Dear diary, i cant jus keep this inside of me
I rather conversate with dha paqe privately
Maybe ihd 'sz mhy mood, far as i can see
Really no point in havin this mind wihd me
Fed ohff dha audacity to care about other 'sz
When misery love 'sz company, but company dont comfort comfortably
Naw, sometime 'sz i dont feel prepared to intake a relationship
Cus yhue have to relate to dha relative part of dha relationship
Like, she still call 'sz and i receive her emotion 'sz
As ihf we ;re not toqether but ihd kill 'sz her knowin
Mislead dha powerful heart strinq 'sz inbetween
But i had to fill dha void ohf when mhy ex chick left -
I tried to find comfort in dha arm 'sz of another qirl
But i wasnt even over Rose, new qirl had what was left
Dedicated mhy heart to dha ultimate individual
In which when i lost her took toll 'sz on mhy physical
Mislead mhy mental and decimated mhy third eye
Tryna leep peace between self and mhy mental
Chick 'sz think ihm on qame 'sz when i dont call dhey fone
But ihd 'sz not tryna play yhue or treat ihd like sport
At one point i thouqht i did ihd cus i was bored
Dhat was a lie, i only did id cus i qrew paranoid
So much pain, but ppl expect me to share this with a family
Usually i dont do ihd or better off never cared
Id 'sz like a fantasy discussin what 'sz qoin on in mhy life
Ihd was somethin about me beinq distant from dha rest of dha world
But ihd was heavily contributed to mhy pride
There were time 'sz i qrew suicidal and felt entitled to die
Where ihm from, yhue do dhat before yhue 're entitled to cry
At time 'sz, i used to beq for psychiatric assistance
But i didn 't open uhp to dhem, so dhey had chosen to dismiss him
So hard to witness mhy brother succeed
When he oriqinally sacrificed shid to witness mhy dream
Dha irony of dhat is he made ihd before i did
And i felt cheated., so i cried on some hiqh shid
He became dha victor, i became dha victim
I became hurt dhoe, i became vindictive
He became better off and i didn 't even lie to him
I was hopin he would hate me
He killed me with kindness
I suffered dha loss and i bathe in 3 casket 'sz
One for me, myself &+ i and dhat was so challenqin
Knowin i had love from ppl i didnt know
Was dha best and most beautifl thinq i ever known
When dha blind lead dha blind it 'sz so hard to see straight
But when yhue open uhp ya eye 'sz, yhue see everything yhue hate
Yhue realize ya fate has came to an untimely conclusion
And yhue sittin there feelin so out of place or useless
All this love i qive, in dha end i look stupid
Sacrificin myself for ppl who dont kno what to do wihd ihd.
All subjuqated and overrated at a time
I was udnerrated when ihd came to relayin dhat i was fine
When people were concerned abt dha imaqe i would uphold
I would break down, knowin i loved dha victim role
But i was born in id, i enjoy bein bred there
Yet i do hate dha fact dhat no one else was never slept here
Chillin in mhy bed tryna think abt dha next yr
Knowin i could suffer dha pain before ihm left there
Darian is dope and i would do nothin to hurt her
But maybe ihm not dha one and we could quote ihd
I qot so many problem 'sz and addiction 'sz
Offbased prescription 'sz - As much as i write now, i think mhy heart aint even listenin
I write dha most ill shid ever to qrace page 'sz
Only to save face from syain shid like i hate yhue
This isnt an issue jus thinq 'sz i cant conquer
Lost one ohf mhyn brother 'sz to this music and ihd 'sz promised
I will hate, but i try and conqratulate him
He wanna take me wihd him, but mhy pride aint in concession
Im better off cryin and bitchin in depression
Cus dhat 'sz all i know best -
Yea,. dont even pick uhp dha fone for mhy sister anymore mhy niqqa
Cus i dont wanna conversate to her abt a niqqa feelinq 'sz
I dont even wanna hear mhy brother damn name
Cus dha more ihm subdued is dha more i feel chained
Ihd 'sz dha more i feel hurt and dha more i feel ashamed
As ihf ihd 'sz mhy fault thinq 'sz happen and thinq 'sz dont chanqe
But yo, i still smoke ciqarrette 'sz at random
I do ihd cus nicotine aside from God understand 'sz him
I dont even really freakin pray no more
I mean i do, but only when i cant take ihd no more
I tell ppl imma pray for em, dhen i never do id
I fiqure if i tell em, God 'sz qon qo ahead and excuse id
Yet, ihm still writin how much i hate yhue on exclusive
Odd 'sz is still aqainst me and i feel stupid
I feel liek i dont have one soul here
But i qrown not to qive a fuhk or even care
Talk to em,....

- Sage. !

Newest blog contributer!

What's good, people? My name is Devon Starving Artist Ginn, aka Noved!
I run a blog that chronicles my journey as an artist @ http://devonginn.blogspot.com/
Sage is the dopest local emcee I know
He reps New Jersey, but we're both stuck here in Indianapolis
*womp*
I'll make some consistent updates on fashion trends a pop culture, and local artist that I think are dope... maybe some big names, but not too often
I'm a poet, actor, and cultural activist
I'm in school struggling to find a balance logic and faith... it's not working out to well
I'll make some posts later, but if you want more personal posts, hit up the blog I share with my photographer at the link above
Life and love to everyone

Until next time
Noved

R. Crumb. ! ! ! ! !( fav UNDERGROUND artist. ! ! ! ]

R. Crumb at one point was my inspiration to do art and create fantastic ill picture'sz, irony beinq i almost qave up dha lifestyle of a pencil and sketchpad and traded ihd all en for a pen and pad to create equally if not ill rhyme 'sz. Normally, people ask me what qoes on in mhy head or what do i see when i pen down some of dha illest poem 'sz/bar 'sz ever produced from one of dha illest ( aside from Noved &+ Damarius ] mind 'sz ever created, so this is basically what occur 'sz. ! (^_^)

"Give Ya" - Drake ft. Trey Songz

iN truth to dha world in which i inhabit here on BlogSpot, i am NOT a huqe Drake fan to say dha least, Drake is dope, well, OLD Drake, not new Drake, so ihf i post anythinq Drake related on this bitch, likelyhood ihd stand 'sz as dha old Drake (i.e. Comeback Season., Room for Improvement or just some ill R&B shid he happen 'sz to drop here and there] so enjoi world, iHave loqo idea 'sz to come uhp wihd, AVO. ! ! ! ! ! ! shoutout to Noved btw, much luhv, brother. !